3 top tips from Dwight Heck:
1. Willing to be vulnerable to others, to share the truth.
I think the biggest three things that people need to realize in order to live a life on purpose is they need to be willing to be vulnerable to others, to share the truth, obviously, with good people that are capable of coaching them and helping them in an effective way. So, you need to be honest and truthful and willing with yourself.
2. You need to really evaluate your associations with who and what you are associating with.
I’m not saying you’re gonna find perfect associations, but you can really in life, the people you surround yourself with like they say, your five closest people are going to be a reflection of who you are is true. Me, I have a surrounding of hundreds of people because that’s how long I’ve been in the game, where I’ve attracted more than five good people, if that makes sense. But start with shooting for five good people with good associations. Watch what you’re listening to, watch what you’re reading, shut off the media, and do not watch the news. They’re all about selling advertising. They’re not about elevating you and helping you rise above the noise. Stay away from the media. If you’re on social media, do it in a productive, effective way. Go on look at like I look at posts from my adult kids, I want to see my grandkids, or I have, you know, I only follow people that are really inspirational. And I never scroll, I don’t spend 10 minutes scrolling. I’m lucky if I scroll once I go on and effectively put up posts for myself to help out my follower’s people in my group. I’m very effective about social media to control my most precious commodity, my six inches between my ears and my time, that’s another precious commodity.
3. One of the biggest things you have to understand, there is no such thing as a bad day.
Quit telling yourself that you’re having a bad day. I have been working on this myself. For most of my life. I’ve lived like this for about a decade now. I do not tell myself ever that I’m having a bad day. I don’t care what it is. If I’m having a bad moment.
people, life, hamster wheel, business owners, book, business, clients, teach, listening, supplier, live, understand, struggling, relationship, talk, elevating, associations, realize, bad
Dwight Heck 00:00
I don’t care what it is, if I’m having a bad moment I timed myself Oh, as kids, we hated the word timeout as an adult. I love it. I love it timed me out, right. I timed myself out for a specific period of time. And then I do specific things that one day, that specific thing I’ll help the next day, that same thing won’t. And I realized that I pivot and I have other things in my arsenal to help me get past that bad moment.
Debra Chantry-Taylor 00:22
Good morning, and welcome to another episode of Better Business, Better Life. Today, I am joined by a Canadian guest and my Canadian guest is Dwight Heck, who was a single dad of five whose actual five adult children now who has risen above the noise, live a life on purpose. He’s an author. He’s an entrepreneur, and from just having had a quick chat before a very, very interesting story and a turnaround from where he began. So welcome to the show, Dwight. It’s lovely to have you here.
Dwight Heck 00:49
Thanks Debra, appreciate being on.
Debra Chantry-Taylor 00:51
Yeah, hey, look, we’re just having a bit of a chat before but I’d love you to share a bit of your story. With our listeners, you know, where you started from where you’ve got to and what you’re most proud of in that journey.
Dwight Heck 01:01
Well, I started out as a young lad who had some health issues, was bullied a lot, and literally used to hide in the shadows of life. You know, I was somebody that wanted to strive to be an entrepreneur, like my father, I’ve seen it at a very young age. You know, as simple as being even a paperboy was something that I aspired to do the best I could be. But yet, I was still living with a bunch of cloudiness and my teen my six inches between my ears because of again, fact of health issues and bullying. But I rose above that noise of my life. As I got older, I became more confident and ended up getting into engineering. I went through Electronics Engineering at a technical college was very good at what I did. But I took it very personal, it affected my health. I ended up getting into specialized part of electronics as a computer consultant, and had health issues to a point where I was told by the medical community, I needed to leave that industry. And I didn’t know where I was, I was on a hamster wheel of life, I was going to work, go home get paid. I wasn’t necessarily happy, I was presenting a facade to my kids, and to other family and friends, that I was happy. But inside I was dying. I felt miserable. And I didn’t know what I needed to do. And I didn’t have anybody in my life. That wasn’t anything but transactional. They always wanted stuff from me, they always wanted to sell me things they always wanted to, you know, here’s the next great big thing, but they never ever truly wanted to connect with me and get to know who I was. And what was my trials and tribulations. And they never ever asked those questions, or how could they help me, I understand life is about a transaction, we trade time for dollars, we trade a product or service for dollars. But bottom line, I was looking for somebody that wanted to relationship, they wanted to do something differently. And I was reached out to and asked if I wanted to get into the financial services industry, the person I reached out had been a mentor of mine and it said, you know, your your life’s a train wreck. He may be a six figure earner. But I know you’re struggling all the time, you’re living with more months than your money, right? And days are running out. You don’t have enough money. And that shouldn’t be the case. I know you got some debt, that shouldn’t be the case. Right? So he reached out to me and said, Hey, why don’t you get into financial services? Why don’t you you’re already a successful serial entrepreneur. But this is gonna teach you how to live your life on purpose. And we’re gonna, you know, we’re gonna teach you how to, to live it that way. Unfortunately, it was a bunch of talk. You know, he talked about the fact to how good I was at relationships and how good I was with numbers and etc. And initially, you know, I was excited to be in that circle of people. But I really quickly understood that they were transactional based. They weren’t relationship based. I don’t care what entrepreneurial journey anybody’s on or you’re currently already doing. You need to be about people. You need to care, you’d have to be kind, you got to listen. And that’s a big problem in our society. People don’t listen, they’re always waiting to talk again and to sell you. So I started six weeks after the fact I fired my trainer. And I started reaching out to people I started reading books, I started going to concerts, concert conferences, part of me and learning not just about the rules of the money game, but how to apply it based on a relationship not a transaction, understanding that transaction is at the end, it still needs to happen. But these people are going to know that I know they know that I care about them. They’re going to understand that they can know like and trust me that I’m there for them for the long haul. I’m not looking for a one time shot. I’m looking for a lifetime relationship. And I quickly rose to the top of my industry. The first year was a struggle commission based I made eight grand. In five months after that first year, I made $140,000. Because I got it, I understood that it’s about relationships. It’s about teaching people how to goal set, how to budget, how to do the right things with their lives to take control of it, get off the hamster wheel and live a life of purpose, not by accident. And for the last 20 years, I’ve done that. And the last few years, I created my Give A Heck brand. Because I want it is my last name for those listening or watching my last name is Heck. So they Give A Heck Brand was meant to disturb people to understand that they’re, you know, do you give a heck do you want to live a life on purpose, not by accident. So I wrote a book, which became a best seller. And I’ve got a successful podcast as well, which is used to highlight people in life that give a heck, it’s not about finance, it’s about different people in all walks of life that give a heck about life. And my whole purpose in life has been to ensure that people know that there’s people out there that care that truly want to help them level up, stop being camped in their mindset, get off the hamster wheel and start climbing. And realizing that life as a journey is all about climbing and never staying capped.
Debra Chantry-Taylor 06:25
So just for people listening in, I mean, you talk about living a life on purpose and being on the hamster wheel. Give us a bit of insight into what you see, as you know, I’ve heard the terminology before what of being on the hamster wheel really mean?
Dwight Heck 06:37
Well, really being on the hamster wheel of life starts when we’re very young. And it’s the pattern behaviors and teachings from our family and from society. And what we watch and who we associate with and what we associate with. So being on the hamster wheel starts at a very young age. So when I talk about association of not just who we associate what we associate with, what do we watch? What do we listen to? What do we see, the media isn’t about elevating people there. It’s about staying them staying trapped on a hamster wheel, and have that go to work, go home get paid mentality living for the weekends, and they get stuck in a rut. They’re not necessarily happy. People on a hamster wheel get stuck with addiction issues. And addictions aren’t always drugs and alcohol, it can be addicted to television, it can be addicted to being Depressed, anxious. It can be, it can be addicted to so many things. And they live on that hamster wheel their whole life, they might work for 40 years to be retired for, you know, whatever, 20-30 years, and they’re just they’re stuck. They don’t know how to get off the hamster wheel because society is indoctrinated them from a very young age and their families obviously enforced it. They don’t associate with good people that aren’t all boohoo doom and gloom. They don’t know how to associate with good people. And they become the non willing to participate in life and an active way to grow and change. They get stuck. They get off the hamster wheel, they go back to work they get. It’s just they just live a life of no purpose and intention. And it affects their health. It affects their mental state of mind and again, drives them to addictions which aren’t healthy at all is because nobody’s ever educated him from a very young age, how to avoid the hamster wheel of life.
Debra Chantry-Taylor 08:34
It’s kind of all those expectations that people placed on us. And when my father kind of said to me that even though I loved people, he said, You have to go and do science, because that will help you find a good husband. That’s why I don’t want to get married when I was if I don’t want to have you know, there was expectation you get married, I’d have children. And it’s it was just Yeah, it’s interesting. It’s an interesting pattern.
Dwight Heck 08:51
But pattern, the pattern behavior that we’re stuck with, or they try to enforce on us is unbelievable. And I struggled with that, and teaching my kids that you know what choices are abundant. And I’m not about to stop you.
Debra Chantry-Taylor 09:06
But it’s not just people who work for people who get stuck on that hamster wheel either. Is it like business owners can get stuck in the same kind same thing. Tell me a little bit about business owners that you’ve worked with and what you see happening with them?
Dwight Heck 09:18
Well, the biggest thing that I’ve seen with the business owners that I’ve consulted and worked with last 20 years, is they take that pattern behavior we just talked about on a personal level and they apply it in a business level. Meaning, you know, I see a lot of business owners that don’t know how to have that. Why management style instead of an X management where they’re dictating to their staff, they don’t really communicate with their staff or their management and find out what’s making them tick. They don’t build a relationship not to necessarily saying that the business owner isn’t the top of the heap because they are they own the business but that doesn’t escape the fact that they need to, you know, John’s not performing his numbers are off. What’s going on with John? Hey, John, let’s have a conversation. What’s going on? Things going okay at home and actually listening, not just surface level saying, Yeah, you know, oh, things are going okay. Because it but looking at John reading his body language and saying hey John are with Sally. Hey, Sally, what’s what’s going on I can, you know, I’m sorry, I don’t really believe what you’re saying to me I can read it in your body language and your tonality and I see it in your, your performance at work, what’s going on. And you know, a lot of business owners don’t understand that because they’re not they didn’t have a good relationship themselves growing up, they started a business, which is all monetary. It’s not really about relationships, it’s about transactional, it’s about selling. And I find a lot of business owners when I actually sit down and talk to them. And we break down their lives, and what their goal is, some of them don’t even like the business they’re in, it’s a family. It’s a business that they got into because of family pushed them into it, or it was a family business that they you know, was handed down to them. It’s not really their drive or their desire, it’s not their passion, and they’re sad, and nobody’s ever asked them the questions about what do they want? And then if they don’t understand that, how can the asset of their management or their staff, how can they have expectations? You know, I talk to business owners, that their staff is really, really happy. And that’s because that business owner understands, oh, your kids are sick, and you can’t make it into work, we’ll do whatever it takes to survive without you being here, take care of family, and letting them know that family is a priority. This business is important. But your family is super important. If you’re sitting here worried about your family, you won’t be effective anyway. Right, and just dialing into the connection of people. And that’s what I’ve seen with a lot of business owners that are struggling, even to grow, or to and not decline or just, you know, just be a happy business owners, because they haven’t dealt with the poor training and teachings that they had as a child into adulthood. Nobody’s ever, you know, even in their industry, they go to conferences and dinner conference doesn’t necessarily teach them properly either. It’s just always about the transaction, about sales about manipulation in a bad way. manipulation can be done in a good way. But most of it’s bad manipulation. And I see that with business owners all the time
Debra Chantry-Taylor 12:29
Sure, that makes perfect sense. So let’s just say somebody here is listening and kind of going, Gosh, that’s me, you know, what do I do about it? How do you even start to think about living a life on purpose? Because it feels so huge, right? So where would you even start?
Dwight Heck 12:45
Well, how would a person start to live a life on purpose, admit that there’s a problem. You can tell people vocally that there’s a problem, but you don’t do any actions? There’s three simple things life is about ABC actions, your beliefs and being consistent. So you have to have a belief that there’s some challenges that you you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired. And then what actions you’re going to take. And you may think, to me, You think to yourself, or you’re listening to a wall, I don’t know what actions to take. Well, guess what? There’s so much into information. And with the advent of the Internet, that you can go on research, you can go to YouTube, you can Google, you can reach out to good people like Debra to get help, and ask the question, right, what steps do I need to do? I know I’m hurting, I know, I’m not satisfied. I go to bed and quiet desperation at night, and I’m sick and tired of this. So what do I need to do? And then you need to be humble, you need to be willing to step outside of the current hamster cage, that you’re living in that comfort zone and realize it’s gonna hurt, admitting to yourself that there’s some challenges and then then you have to enact specific actions. And then you’re gonna have days where you’re in the valley of despair, who you’re associating with that you can talk to that’s gonna say, You know what, that’s unfortunate, Debra, if you thought about it this way, they’re going to pivot your mindset away from the negative to the positive, and they’re going to help you with actions to help you. So I’m a firm believer in masterminds. I’m a firm believer in individualized coaching, depending on what level you’re at, because a mastermind is not going to be at the same level as individualized coaching. But, you know, start somewhere, maybe just join, a conversation of a fear, a closed Facebook group or an open Facebook group of entrepreneurs that are struggling where you can just put it out there so that you can get past your fears and your anxieties and start learning to find the right people so they can help you enact actions. To take your belief that you’re, you know, not necessarily broken, but that you’re struggling. And those actions are going to help you have a different belief system. But it’s back to the associations. And then you have to do see, ABC, like I said, consistency, you have to consistently do that, and realize that some days, you’re gonna feel like you’re kicked in the teeth. And what are you going to do? You need to learn to change your mindset about not having bad days anymore. And yes, there’s a lot of different steps that I’m talking about. But it all starts with you being willing to step outside of your comfort zone, because no success in life is ever done in our comfort. It’s outside of the comfort zone. Yeah, perfect.
Debra Chantry-Taylor 15:41
I must admit, we were talking before we came on the podcast about gratitude. And I actually got hold of a panda planner many, many years ago and started writing every day, every morning, every evening, the things that I was grateful for, and it started to make you realize that you know that there’s always something good. And there’s always You get to choose how you pick your day, right? At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what happens. You say to you, but isn’t it for you? You don’t get to choose what actually happens, but you do get to choose how you actually deal with it. And what you do with it, don’t you? Yeah, yeah. Because when not to and for?
Dwight Heck 16:18
Yeah, you know, again, life happens for you, not to us. So many people are going, why is this happening to me, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah? Well, you know, look at what’s happening to you. And then, you know, you need to really, it’s, it can be a struggle, but you’ll eventually get to a point where you can analyze what’s going on with you and pick up the seeds of goodness in there and say to yourself, Oh, I lost my job, or, or I lost this client, if you’re a business owner, or whatever the case may be. Well, that that client caused me grief all the time, I go home, stressed out to my family, I had, you know, A line one, John’s on the phone, and it’d be like, Right? a little bit of monetary gain from that client. If it’s making you feel terrible, that’s not a great way to be. So I live by a simple principle called the 70/30 principle that I’ve been coaching on for years. And what the 70 Principle 70/30 Principle is, is involving individuals, clients, don’t matter what it is, right? John gets John reaches out and he’s talking to, you know, he reaches out wants to talk to me. And if I’m feeling that anxiety, and going, Oh, my gosh, I don’t want to talk to John, but I know I gotta because he’s paying my bills. That’s terrible. Right? If that 70% of the time, I’m happy to hear from John, but 30% of the time, he might call and stress me out a little bit. That’s okay, that 30% is justifiable, we’ve got a relationship that we built. And 70% of the time, I can’t wait for him to show up at my door, my business, I can’t wait for him to call me. Because I know we’re going to have a great positive interaction, there might be some challenges. Challenges doesn’t mean you can’t have a positive interaction. Challenges means that you have to work through it, you communicate, you respect one another 30% of the time, Jon’s having a shitty day. He’s had a crappy day, and he doesn’t know how to pivot away from having a bad day. Digitas bad moments. So he’s, he’s in that puke mode. He’s puking on everybody. Something’s bad has happened at home, something’s bad has gonna knock on the wall in his late, maybe he’s had a tragedy occur, and he’s going to get on to pick up the phone. Hi, John. Well, Okay. And you just sometimes you can’t take things personal. You just shut up and listen. Oh, John, that’s unfortunate. That you know, John, you know, I’m, I’m sure that you know, we can work through this maybe I can help you what else is going on with you, John? Besides this, you know, if I can help you get through what you’re upset about with our interaction with our company and your company, or your you know, your personal business? And me, we can get through that? You know, Are you going to be will things be better for you and usually you can defuse it, if you have obvious has a little bit more work. We don’t have enough time to talk about all the steps that I was about to talk to people about, but you can defuse that situation. And if you have time, care, be kind and say, Hey, John, what else is going on in your life? What else is bothering you? Besides what you were just upset about? Oh, you’re right. It really wasn’t you. I’m just that I hate and state I got this and that going on? Well, that’s unfortunate John, and let that person sometimes they just need to have somebody listen. Don’t think you always have to give advice. Sometimes listening and showing compassion that just makes John understand that you know, that he can know like and trust you And the interaction of how you diffuse him and his responses when you communicate, you know, like and trust him. And that’s the 70/30 principle if it ever gets so point at 50/50, but bye, It can’t be equal, there has to be a level of energy that’s higher and resonating higher. And that’s my 70/30 principle.
Debra Chantry-Taylor 20:21
I love it. I think that makes perfect sense. So what happens if you sort of listen to this and kind of go, actually, I’ve got somebody in my life, and it could be a relationship, it could be a supplier, it could be somebody you work with? Who you’re kind of going, Yeah, you know, what, they don’t quite fit that 70/30 principle? How do you take steps towards removing those people from your life?
Dwight Heck 20:39
Well, that can be tough, right? And why do I say that, because let’s say it’s a supplier or a relationship, that you really need that person or you’re in a very niche environment or situation. Obviously, if you can find somebody to replace that person, do it find somebody that you have the same energy connection, right? That that person dealing with us, energy’s always a little bit higher than yours, or you’re dealing with somebody your energy’s a little bit higher energy, that’s both the same cancels itself out, you always want to deal with somebody that’s a little bit a little bit more intense than you are, and vice versa, in your interactions. And, you know, it’s not always easy to find somebody replace a supplier or replace that golden goose client. If you’re a business owner that relies on one or two clients. And in your always kiss and ask because you know, if they go south, you’re done. Yep. versified your business, you need to look at your whole business and dissect it to it’s not just about how do you replace that supplier? How do you replace that client, it’s replacing the whole mindset of you catering to one or two people and starting to diversify your whole thought process of your business so that you have more than one supplier if you’re not in a niche environment. I know I have clients, it’s very hard. We’ve had these conversations, and they have to deal with an asshole supplier, pardon my language, but they do. Yeah, they have nobody else to go to. So I just teach them simple little things to say to people, when they’re when they’re puking all over him, just so that they can get through that interaction. And when they’re done that interaction, they take that bad moment, and they don’t tell themselves or allow that person or situation and make it a bad day. It’s a bad moment, they get off the call, they leave that person’s environment, if they’re face to face, and they literally teach them little things for them just to dial it back. Right dial their energy back down from an anger or feeling like they’ve been, you know, mentally beaten up, or they can regain their day. And that goes back to gratitude and gratefulness and thinking, Oh, what happened before this, oh, I had this happen. I’m grateful for that. So quit telling and I teach people quit telling yourself you had a bad day. But yeah, as replacing that somebody can be really hard. But when possible, if you can’t replace them, then I work on their mindset, if they can replace them, I teach them. Let’s this is what you need to ask these people that you’re gonna, you know, what can this you know, ask these questions to the supplier or to this, you know, this client, find that synergy, find that person that you’re going to be able to synergize with, and never rely on one. Try to expand it so that if circumstances changed, maybe ownership of a company changes, management changed, all of a sudden now you don’t connect with that person, now you’re in strife have a fallback? And it isn’t always possible. I want people listening to understand. Everything I’m talking about doesn’t happen overnight. All right, I’m just giving you a hope, giving you a hope that there is a way around every circumstance, when you have the right associations that people when you can’t figure it out based on your experiences and knowledge, they can help you and it’ll help you get past that hurdle.
Debra Chantry-Taylor 24:01
Beautiful. I mean, we I always say that your life’s too short to not be doing what you love with people you love. So we have to work out how we do that. Or as you said, if you really have to deal with an asshole then you’re there. How do we make sure that we don’t allow that to affect our our energy and our purpose in life? So you’ve written a book, Give A Heck as well as having the Give A Heck podcast. Tell us a little bit about the book and tell us what that book takes you through what’s the journey?
Dwight Heck 24:26
Well, my whole focus in life right from getting into my finance and lifestyle coaching business was people’s origin because our earliest recollections and everything, our reason for our successes and our failures, or in between. So my book starts basically at my origin, it talks about the health challenges I went through the bullying issues, what I did to climb out of it. You know, my earliest start with my first entrepreneur gig and people chuckle, but it’s Being a paperboy taught me how to deal with people that would be peeking see the curtain because they didn’t really want to answer the door because they owed me money. And I was such a kind kid, I kept on giving him the newspaper for an example. And they’d only teach three months, and then cut cut them off. Finally, because I realize started learning that sometimes people don’t deserve your compassion and kindness and then having to learn as a 12-13 year old kid that, where’s my paper in the yell at you and go, Well, you owe me money. I don’t care what my paper and you know, just stuff like that I had to learn about collecting money, I had to learn about paying bills, I had to pay the paper company for my papers, even before I collected, I had to learn stuff like that at a very young age. So I had to learn customer relations, I had to learn that people are can be jerks, and people can be extremely kind. Right. And I’ve went from that to working for my father, very successful entrepreneur talks about that. And what I learned from my father, because he was a workaholic, he’s still alive. But when he owned his business, a very successful business he was, you know, he was a workaholic, I learned that, you know, I talked about in the book that I realized one day when I was in my first business prior to finance, that I would become a workaholic, like my father. And instead of living a principles of faith, family work, I was living a core value of work, work, work work, right? my dad was one of 18 kids grew up in the depression. So he, you know, I can see, I can appreciate it. So I share that in the book that sometimes we don’t see what we learn in our past, and we resent it when we’re younger. But as an older adult, I learned I realized that greatness I got from it left behind the negativity, all the way up in the book I talk about, you know, how people can goal set, because nobody ever teaches people how to goal set majority of my clients and 20 years have never had anybody asked them, What do you want in their life? How did you get to where you’re currently at? What caused you to get in all this debt? What was your family life? Like? What is your currently family life like? Failing that relationship, and goal setting with them that they live, they need to know that they can live better comfort today, right? Retire in comfort and pass away with dignity. I teach people that you can have your legacy and living legacy and create it today. But it starts on learning how to goal set how to literally put down and paper using a smart principal I talk about in there, and why understanding your inflows and outflows flows of money, I teach them how to budget understanding that if you have a dollar that you’re making, and you’re spending a dollar twenty, you’re gonna constantly be on the hamster wheel of life financially, and how to get off of that. And I work a lot with businesses for that, too. You’d be shocked how many businesses you know, oh, I do 10 million, 20 million, I do whatever. It could be 100,000, whatever. But they really don’t understand the numbers. And they’re always behind the eight ball. They’re always on the hamster wheel themselves. Because nobody’s ever goal set with him. Nobody’s ever taught him how to be a business owner that understands inflows and outflows of money. Right. So goal setting, budgeting, teaching. Knowing that I only have a dollar. And I can only spend a dollar. And I’d rather teach people how to be broke, broke to me is Breaking even, right, you’re, you’re breaking even. Now, anything beyond that as your absolute broke, you’re living in quiet desperation. I’ve been there. Especially as a single dad of five kids, I’ve been there, living a facade, going to bed at night and quiet desperation, getting up in the morning putting that mask of fakeness on so that my kids didn’t have to suffer. Right? And getting to a point where I had to realize, I was never taught the difference between a need and a walk. I’m gonna teach my kids that I’m going to teach my clients that I’m going to teach my business owners that the difference between a need and a want. Why do you need that new piece of equipment? Whoa, it’s going to be this and this and that? Well, there’s a current piece of equipment work does it do your job? Yeah, it does it functions. Okay. So why would you want to go out and get a loan or line of credit or whatever to buy this piece of equipment or be indebted at it at an interest rate? When you’re already struggling? piece of equipment works. You don’t need to impress your clients, your clients don’t care. Your clients just want the end result. You don’t need to impress somebody else in that business space. Because they’ll steal your client as fast as you just need to get your finances your goals in place. Where do you want your business to go? Where do you want your life to in the next three 5, 10, 20 years? What’s your exit strategy? I even talk to people about that if they’re willing to talk about what’s your exit strategy. Never thought about that. Right? Yeah, you know, just different stuff like that. The book goes all the way through that all All the way up to where I am today, right, and the creation of the given heck brand, why I created it to mentally trigger people to realize that they can give a heck about life that they can live a life on purpose, that you don’t have to live a life where every day is a bad day, right? Just helping people understand there’s more to life than where they’re currently at.
Debra Chantry-Taylor 30:24
And you don’t want to be living with more months and money, like you said, so making sure that you actually are at very worst, breakeven or broke. And a lot better than that, hey, look, normally I ask our guests to give us kind of three tips at the end of this, but you’ve actually given us a whole lot of things to write. So can we perhaps sort of summarize a few of those things for the listeners in terms of three things that you think are the most important?
Dwight Heck 30:45
Well, I think the biggest three things that people need to realize in order to live a life on purpose is they need to be willing to be vulnerable to others, to share the truth, obviously, with good people that are that are capable of coaching them and helping them in an effective way. So you need to be honest and truthful and willing with yourself. Number two, you need to at that point in time, really evaluate your associations who and what are you associating with? So associations aren’t just people, it’s what are you watching? At night? What are you listening to? What kind of books do you listen to or read or podcasts? Are you listening, if you’re a true crime, podcast fan, good for you. But I didn’t help elevate your life. I’m just being real with you, I’m going to be straight up honest and blunt with you, that ain’t elevating your life, reading books like that watching television shows where you live in the drama of stuff. So you really need to look at your associations, and the people in your life that he associate with. If every time you open your mouth and you’re happy, they’re talking about the negative side of what you’re going through, or they’re adding gasoline on your fiery if you’re sad, instead of just listening and being concerned, I’m not saying you’re gonna find perfect associations, but you can really in life, the people you surround yourself with, like they say, your five closest people are going to be a reflection of who you are is true. Me, I have a surrounding of hundreds of people, because that’s how long I’ve been in the game, where I’ve attracted more than five good people, if that makes sense. But start with shooting for five good people with good associations. Watch what you’re listening to watch what you’re reading, with, shut off the media, do not watch the news. They’re all about selling advertising. They’re not about elevating you and helping you rise above the noise. Stay away from the media. If you’re on social media, do it in a productive effective way. Go on look at like I look at posts from my adult kids, I want to see my grandkids or I have, you know, I only follow people that are really inspirational. And I never scroll, I don’t spend 10 minutes scrolling. I’m lucky if I scroll once I go on and effectively put up posts for myself to help out my followers people in my group. I’m very effective about social media to control my most precious commodity, my six inches between my ears and my time, that’s another precious commodity. So associations. And lastly, one of the biggest things you have to understand is, you know, there is no such thing as a bad day. Quit telling yourself that you’re having a bad day. I have been working on this myself. For most of my life. I’ve lived like this for about a decade now. I do not tell myself ever that I’m having a bad day. I don’t care what it is. If I’m having a bad moment. I’ll I literally I have a specific thing that I coach people on and how to get past that. But to make it really simplistic, I timed myself out. As kids, we hated the word timeout as an adult, I love it. I love it timed me out, right, I timed myself out for a specific period of time. And then I do specific things that one day, that bad moment, that specific thing I’ll help the next day that same thing won’t. And I realized that I pivot and I have other things in my arsenal to help me get past that bad moment. And then when I’ve done that, at night, when I’m having my gratefulness for for the day, I’ll acknowledge that bad in the moment not to to give it power, but to take the power away from that bad moment and say, You know what, I had this bad moment, but oh my gosh, had all these other good moments from the moment I got up. One of those good moments was, I hope my eyes up and I was grateful for being alive, giving another shot. Right. So those are three things that I would highly recommend people focus on.
Debra Chantry-Taylor 34:51
That is fantastic. So you’ve got a number of resources that can actually help people you’ve got your book for a start. So where do people get hold of the book?
Dwight Heck 34:59
That’s place I used to go to is my website for communicating with me go to giveaheck.com. It has a portal designed in a portal website that a good friend of mine. We’ve it’s been a working project, but you’ll go on there and you’ll see a portal button for my book for my financial education from my podcasts from my speaking because I will also do speaking as well. And that’s the best way to do it. If you go and click on that tab for the book, it’ll give you a link for Amazon US tax asset Amazon, Canada. And if you’re listening to this outside of the North America, Amazon UK, you just type and Give A Heck, it’s available on all platforms, you’ll be able to find my book.
Debra Chantry-Taylor 35:39
Perfect. Thank you. And you’ve answered the next question. So your podcast is on there to information about yourself whenever somebody wants to contact you. How would they best contact you?
Dwight Heck 35:48
You can do it you can do to the website you can there’s a Contact button you can actually book a complimentary call with me. If you want to email me and you don’t want to do it through zoom. Just Dwight email@example.com All right, so you can email me.
Debra Chantry-Taylor 36:06
Yeah, I look and it’s been an absolute pleasure to talk to you this morning. The stuff that you have given here is absolutely valuable. I really appreciate your time. So thank you so much for for giving us your time. And I look forward to actually getting hold of a copy of the book myself and having a read through it. And hopefully we can, we can keep in contact and keep changing the world one person at a time.
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