3 top tips from Kim Sorrelle:
1. Be authentic, be real.
Don’t be phony to people. People know whether or not you really care about them, whether or not you’re really interested in their lives, you know, be authentic. It changes business, it changes the way you deal in life, you just let yourself not have this different face you put on at the office, right? But just be who you are, live, live who you are, and be authentic to everybody all the time.
2. Be forgiving.
Be forgiving my word. If people didn’t forgive me for the things I did, I don’t know where I’d be I have no friends, and my family would disown me. Yeah, so be forgiving, you know, let it go and, and change the narrative, you know, change the narrative on the story. Don’t harbor it. Don’t, don’t be bitter, you know, it doesn’t do any good at all. So let it go, let it go.
3. Reach out.
Reach out with a phone call a note write a handwritten note goes a long way. But reach out and you know, be the one that that loves just love them.
people, love, Kim, live, life, sleep, Haiti, thought, friends, cry, person, business, change, night, bitter, writing, driving, tarantula, story, put
Kim Sorrelle 00:00
Diagnosed with breast cancer a few years ago and four months later, my husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. And he passed away six weeks after that.
Debra Chantry-Taylor 00:08
Good morning, and welcome to another episode of Better Business Better Life. Today I am joined by the delightful Kim Sorrelle, it was not only an entrepreneur of a nonprofit organization, but also an author and a speaker, and a mother of five kids. And what’s it 11 grandchildren? Wow. Welcome, Kim. It’s a pleasure to have you on the show.
Kim Sorrelle 00:30
Thank you. It is a pleasure for me to be here for sure. I’ve listened to several of your episodes. I love your show. You’ve got great energy, and you give such great information and advice. And so I’m happy to be a part of it.
Debra Chantry-Taylor 00:45
I must admit, we’re just having a quick chat before we came on the podcast. And I’d forgotten how I’d first got in contact with Kim. And then she recounted her story to me. And that’s right. I since I read your story, as I have to have you on the show, because my whole world I talk about love and what love is in business and in your personal life. And I just think that I know you’ve got a story to tell about your discovery of love, if you like.
Kim Sorrelle 01:08
Yes, yes, I sure do. Why don’t you share
Debra Chantry-Taylor 01:11
that with us? Why don’t you share that with us? And then share with us, you know what you’re most proud of in your professional and personal life so far?
Kim Sorrelle 01:17
Yeah, well, absolutely. Well, I was diagnosed with breast cancer a few years ago. And four months later, my husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. And he passed away six weeks after that. And for a whole lot of reasons and no reason. At the same time. It made me question love, and the reality of love and what love really is. And so I decided that there is a lot of movies, there’s a lot of TV shows, there’s a lot of songs you know about love, but what is love? Really, you know, it seems to be a mystery. So I decided I would dedicate a full year to discover what love really is. Most of the year I was in Haiti, I took a 2000 year old poem the year and a lot of weddings. Love is patient. Love is kind, does not envy does not boast, etc. And I decided I would take one word a month, and figure out what is love that is patient, what is love that is kind and, and the things that I found out were mind blowing, and life changing. And I am now on this mission to share what I know with the world.
Debra Chantry-Taylor 02:24
That’s fantastic. So we’d like to share with us a little bit about what you know, what did you learn having a whole year off? That sounds? Divine, but it was also a course in a time of grief for you, I assume. So it would have been a mixture of feelings?
Kim Sorrelle 02:38
Yes, yeah. Um, Isn’t life always a mixture of feelings? No matter where we are in life, it’s always going to be jumbled up and, and whatever. But like, for instance, right out of the gate, patients of his patient. So what I found out there’s 14 Is is an essence of love in that poem. Wow. And so it took me a little longer than a year, with one a month, but I got it done. And, each one has something very special and very particular about it. And at the same time, there’s this over lying arc of of love in general. And so both are just incredible things to know. And then and then live. Because you know, love, love is not just a word, it’s not an emotion. It’s something you are, it’s something that you become, it’s something that is strive to be to be loved to other people. And so it’s living and breathing and walking and talking and giving and, and so how do you do that? How do you run your life that way? How do you do that? And so right out of the gate, love is patient. So you know, a patient says,
Debra Chantry-Taylor 03:55
I know I’m good at it, but I understand it.
Kim Sorrelle 03:59
Right, but Right. It’s something I’ve always been afraid to pray for, because they say that you’ll get what you pray for. And I wasn’t sure that would be so easy. But yes, we you know, you’re stuck in traffic and you’re not honking your horn or you’re mad because somebody’s not ready when you’re ready, you know, whatever. And so showing the kindness and that is being patient, when I figure it out, though, is love that is patient is entirely different than that. I believe you’re supposed to love everybody. We should all just love everybody, the world would be a different place. And if you love everybody, then you recognize that this moment. Right here, right now is the most important moment of your life. What’s in the past is in the past and what’s in the future is yet to come. But it’s so easy. It was so easy for me. I don’t know about anybody else. But it was so easy for me to think that I was this grand multitasker and I could be in a conversation and while I’m thinking about a meeting I have later that day and what I have to pick up at the grocery store on the way home. And, and and my rebuttals, and my answer to the question all at the same time, or the my input to the conversation. And I discovered that’s not true. It’s not true. I’m not that multitask and love that is patient would say, Be in the moment, and really listen to the person that you’re with, to show love to the person you’re with, blocks out everything else. Because everything can wait right now, this is where you are. And so and when you really listen, it changes things, because you hear what people actually have to say, not what you’re assuming they’re gonna say. And it’s amazing how, how it really changes what you hear. And what you understand.
Debra Chantry-Taylor 05:52
I can imagine will be a few people listening to this who will struggle in the same way that you did in terms of thinking, I know, I’m the same I thought I thought I was a great multitasker. And I realized actually, none of us could actually multitask. And we I don’t think that’s actually physically possible.
Kim Sorrelle 06:06
I think you’re absolutely right. Yes. And I have to admit that it’s taken me a lot of practice, to be in the moment to remind myself to be in the moment and with the person I’m with and show that kind
Debra Chantry-Taylor 06:20
of love. So I hear what you’re saying. So I mean, I struggle with this as well. How do you kind of bring yourself back to that presence? I remember going to yoga classes at the end, they’d sort of say you lie down, they’ve done it. So imagine this, and I’d always find myself wandering off to what’s for dinner tonight, what I need to do tomorrow, how do I so how do you calm that sort of noise that clutter in your mind and actually focus on the person that you’re with?
Kim Sorrelle 06:44
Well, I think first, it starts with the decision that this is the way you want to live, that you want to live a life of love and love that is patient as part of it. And so if you want to do it, anything that you want to do, you’re willing to put some time in or you should be willing to put some time in. And so for me, at the beginning, my head was everywhere, and I tried to reel it back in and then my thoughts would wander and I reel it back in. And then I just got to the point where I was like, this is silly, all I really need to do is focus, just look, look the person I’m with in the eye, and be fully present, and, and block out everything. And it’s certainly possible. You can do it, anybody can do it. But you kind of want to
Debra Chantry-Taylor 07:32
it’s a choice and, and work on it. So okay, so that’s number one of 14. What about the others?
Kim Sorrelle 07:41
Yes. Oh, my gosh, there’s so so many great things that I learned. And I’m like, I’ll tell you a quick story about one that I dreaded. And it was love does not keep a record of wrongs. Because I thought well, you know, forget the things that happened to you, you know, you might forgive but you really don’t forget. I mean, there’s still in your memory, right? And so what is love doesn’t keep a record of wrongs. How does that possibly work? Well, I had this man call me from another state, a pastor, and he asked if I would go with him to Haiti, because I was working on this water project down there. And they wanted to see if they wanted to be a part of it. So I met these eight gentlemen from the US down in Haiti. And then I took two of my friends, my Haitian friends who translate for us and work on the water project, I took them with us, we went out and we stayed at this little town in the countryside. And we got to where we were going to stay. And we drove in. And there was a small building with two small rooms. And each room had four twin size beds. So eight men from America, two men from Haiti and me. But I’m thinking we’ll work it out, you know, there’s more room in the room about a couple of God’s will squeeze everybody in, you know, it’ll be fine. Well, the head guy of the Americans said, Kim, Kim, can I talk to you? I’m like, sure, you know, whatever. And he said, Did you see the room? And I’m thinking, buddy, there’s nothing else to see. Of course, I saw the rooms. I mean, here we are. That’s, that’s all there is. And, and then I thought, Oh, he’s gonna think I want my own room. So I’m gonna say to him, Well, it’s okay. I’ll sleep outside and he’ll say, no, if anybody should sleep inside, it should be you. And then I’ll say, Well, I don’t care if there’s other people in my room, and you’ll say good, because we only have so much space. So I said, Well, it’s okay. I’ll sleep outside. And he said, good, good. But because we have men that are with us, it would be very uncomfortable with a woman in the room. And I thought, oh, my gosh, I you know, I set myself up for this. I said that I would do it. So I looked around and there was the piece of plywood kind of being held up by some sticks, and I thought, well, if I sleep under that, at least if it rains, I’m protected from the rain. So the first night I went to bed, and my air mattress held air for about an hour, and it was so long, the dogs and horns honking and barking and it was just so loud. And finally it settled down. And finally I was gonna get some sleep and then the Voodoo drum started in the distance. And then that kept me up for a while. And then finally, I could get some sleep like 5am. And my biggest fear was that something some critters, some animals, something of snake, or a tarantula, or Juba, copra, or whatever is lurking in the bushes in Haiti would attack me in the middle of the night. I don’t think there’s really attack snakes, but I worried about them, because there might be who knows. And so the first night came and went without incident, and everything was just fine. Second night, went to bed air mattress last year, the dogs, the horns, the Voodoo domes, finally, I’m sleeping. And I woke up, because it was something on my leg. Oh, no. And I thought, Oh, my word, what could that possibly be, I was so afraid. And I was sleeping on my back thinking that’s the easiest way to jump up and run if I have to. And so I’m on my back. And I slowly lifted my head, slowly open my eyes. And it was a chicken, a chicken, it was a dang chicken. I don’t know whether to be mad because it’s chicken is on my leg, or happy that it’s a chicken. And that’s something worse. So I shoot it away, got a little bit of sleep. So night three came and went no incident, everything’s fine. And came like four. And again, the dogs that warns that no air in the air mattress, etc. And again, I woke up because there was something on my leg. And again, I was scared to death to see what could possibly be on me. And I slowly lifted my head and opened my eyes. And again, it was the dang chicken. That chicken was back on my mind. And I shoot it away. And again, I didn’t know whether it be matter happy, you know, whatever. But I got some more sleep. But that night, we had chicken for dinner. So I knew I’d have a pretty peaceful night and nighttime, so nothing happened at night. But at first I was bitter. I was angry, right? Like, what is this guy doing? You know, either nobody’s saying Kim, maybe sleeping outside, you know, we’ve got room for you. I mean, at first I was angry and disappointed in these people and and then I thought I’m working on Love doesn’t keep record of wrongs. And then I finally realized what it means. So we don’t forget the things that happen to us. We don’t forget, but the narrative changes. So instead of oh my gosh, she’s then did this to me and oh my word. You know, I had five sleepless nights, and whatever and just being bitter, and sad. It’s just something I lived through. And it’s a funny story. And I can literally sleep anywhere in the world now and be perfectly comfortable. So the narrative changes the tone of the story changes and instead of being the victim and and harboring it, something that they probably don’t even remember happening.
Debra Chantry-Taylor 13:25
Well, I tried to be fair, you actually said to them, you would sleep outside, so. Exactly.
Kim Sorrelle 13:31
So yeah, so it’s kind of not on them. So yes, so instead of being bitter, and you know, bitterness eats us alive anyway, and it does us no good. And when we’re bitter other person, the person we’re bitter toward usually has no idea that you’re mad at them. No idea. So why bother? So just love people and let it go. Just let it go.
Debra Chantry-Taylor 13:56
Oh, I love it. And that’s such a fantastic story. I’m so pleased it was just a chicken. I live visions of tarantulas and things but yeah. Oh, that’s great. So I mean that sounds like an amazing trip. What else did you discover on that trip?
Kim Sorrelle 14:10
Oh my so much. You know the about love in general. You know the like what love truly is because I think we get it wrong. We do we get it wrong a lot. We think it’s all about romance and roses and and or we think it’s you know our kids who just adore us you know be like, like when you have grandkids it’s wonderful. It’s like having a dog as you walk in the door and they are there and they’re so happy to see you and you can do no wrong and but eventually they feed themselves and they shower themselves and put on their own clothes so even better than a dog but they love you with this unconditional love. But so we have all these ideas about what love is but love done the right way. Really when you understand it when you break it down and take love for what it truly is. It is the greatest freedom. Because there is no judgment, there’s no room for condemnation, there’s no room for any negative, all you have to do is love. You don’t have to fix anybody. You know, the truth is we’re only in control of ourselves, we don’t control other people. And so we spend a lot of time, I’m speaking for myself, unfortunately, in the past, spend time trying to fix people during the offer unsolicited advice. And I think I know the better way, right. And, and nothing is going to change with that person. You know, we, we control ourselves, our emotions, our actions, that’s what we get to control. And so all we have to do is love people. That’s all we have to do. So when you do that, it frees you to just love and not judge, and not try to fix and not condemn and not put people in categories. But realize that people have names and we’re all individuals, and we’re all unique. And don’t make assumptions about anybody, anywhere, for anything. You just love people. You know, open your ears, open your eyes, open your heart, to who people really are individuals really are.
Debra Chantry-Taylor 16:20
And yeah, so I was gonna say, I think I think as humans, you know, we do tend to judge quite quickly. And then also, you have to say to people, you’ve got to put yourself in the other person’s shoes, you don’t know what’s going on for them right there right now you don’t know what else there is that you can’t even see. So you need to just be, I suppose, yeah, loving of them, and just accepting of the way that they are. I know, I’m actually I’m third time married and learnt a lot in my first two marriages. Now, super, super happily married in my third marriage, but because I’ve actually realized, I can’t, you can’t marry somebody because you love them for this reason, and then want to change everything about them to fit what you want from them, right? If I tried to do a couple of times didn’t work so well. Doesn’t work. And it’s like, yeah, it’s been a real real revelation just gotta go. Actually, you know, that we are humans, we’re all a little bit different. But this time around, it’s eyes wide open, not trying to change anything, just being completely loving of the person I’m with and it makes such a huge difference.
Kim Sorrelle 17:18
It does, that doesn’t make such a huge difference. And I think too, you know, when you get married, a lot of times people will say, Well, you know, it’s 50/50 or every both of you have to give 100% You know, 110 not that that exists. But people use that, you know, whatever. And they try to quantify love, they try to put a number on love. And the reality is Love is on you only. No matter what somebody else does. Your your amount of love, your love, your living love is up to you. That’s what you’re responsible for. So no matter what your spouse does, no matter what your coworker does, no matter what your boss does, you still love them, you give the same amount of love no matter what, without expecting anything in return. That’s the beautiful thing about love, is you have zero expectations. So you’re never disappointed. You’re not wondering, well, shoot, I brought them a casserole, where’s mine, right? So you’re not thinking of things like that, or I did this for them at work. And, you know, now shoot, they went out to lunch with them and didn’t even invite me or, you know, things like that. But you love, because you love not because you’re looking for something in return. So if you love, expecting love back from your spouse, from your husband from whoever, then you’re loving to get something in return. And that’s not love. Yeah. It has no expectations of getting anything return. Just love just just love
Debra Chantry-Taylor 18:54
I love it. Lots of recording. I love it. So you’ve written a couple of books, haven’t you? We’d like to talk a little bit about so I can see one of the background there love is and what was the second one?
Kim Sorrelle 19:03
Yes. The other one is, it’s called Cry Until You Laugh. Yes, yes. And I started writing right after I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Because I went to a bookstore and everything was either very depressing, or very medical. And I wanted to know, well, what is it like to go through breast cancer or other choices I need to make? Are there doctors that I need to see that I don’t know about? What what does it feel like? What am I going to feel like what what is it going to be? And so I started writing as a way to update family and friends and going to the doctor tomorrow, you know, instead of calling everybody and it turned into much more than an update. And so I wrote what I was going through and then I was still writing when my husband was diagnosed and I was still writing when he passed away. And I continued writing for a little over a year. And that is what crying until you laugh is because I really believe that’s what you need to do. I mean we, we need to cry for we need to laugh again as well. There’s no disrespect in that. Right? And then my second.
Debra Chantry-Taylor 20:08
So for some people, you know, I always get told by my friends, you’re so strong, you know, you always get through this, I think, yeah, you just see that you said the persona that I put on. Whereas actually, in fact, when I’m at home, I had a big old cry last night about Dad passing away and I was getting really emotional about it. And, and and eventually, we could turn this around and we can laugh about it. But, a lot of people don’t want to show that because they feel it’s a sign of weakness. So what would you say to people about about crying?
Kim Sorrelle 20:36
Yeah, cry. Oh, my word, we have to cry and never has permission to cry. Like, we have bad days, we lose people. I mean, my word if you don’t cry when you lose somebody you love. When are you gonna cry? When that loss is heavy and hard. It’s so difficult. And you can be in a fog for a while, like, you don’t necessarily just the next day go, oh, well, you know, funerals over so now I’m okay. No, I mean, your whole life has changed. And so you’re the sadness is there in the sadness remains. But I think what can happen is people can kind of get stuck in the sadness get stuck in the, in the morning. And feel like they’re disrespectful. If they have fun again, yeah. Or if they, you know, laugh with people or whatever. And that just focus on that person that they lost and just focus on their memory of them and whatever. It’s okay to laugh again. It’s okay to live. All of that stuff is okay. And it’s okay to cry. It’s okay to cry, cry, cry. It’s healing. Crying is healing.
Debra Chantry-Taylor 21:51
Okay, no, yeah, I agree. And it’s Yeah. And you have so many mixed emotions that when somebody passes away you do. I mean, I must admit, I’ve gone through, you know, real deep sadness, and then I felt good, then I have got enough. I had some fun with my friends. And I felt guilty for going off having fun with my friends. And then I’ve gone off and done some shopping then God, what am I doing that shopping? I should be, you know, sort of mourning? And so there is this all these waves of emotions that come over, but yeah, okay, so that’s crying till you laugh? And then the lovers book, which What’s that one about? Obviously?
Kim Sorrelle 22:19
Oh, yeah. So I, you know, went on this journey to learn the true meaning of love. And so each chapter, I started out with what I think the word of the month is when I think patience is, and then I tell the story of what happens in Haiti, most of the time I was in Haiti, when I was writing this and living this journey. And I tell the story of what happened that brought me to the realization of what that word really is what love because when you put love is love is not in front of anything, it changes the meaning of the word, it’s no longer what’s in the dictionary. And so figuring out that meaning was, seemed like it’d be so simple. And maybe for somebody else, it might have been easier and faster. But it takes it took a while, it took some time, and we never really had to work on it. And so the book, my book is called Love is, and it’s available everywhere. And
Debra Chantry-Taylor 23:18
that’s got those 14 words in there about lovers and lovers, not how you actually found out what the real meaning of that is. Sounds great. Now, I’m gonna ask you a bit about your business. Because you said right at the beginning, you’re you’re an entrepreneur of a not for profit, what is it that you what is your not for profit? What is it that you do?
Kim Sorrelle 23:35
Well, those are two things that I do. I’m an entrepreneur, and I run a nonprofit, okay. So a nonprofit organization that I run is a partnering organization. We work with people in their own country who have a passion and mission and vision to help people in their own country. And they just need somebody to walk alongside. And they understand the culture, they understand the language and they understand the real need. It can be so easy to think we know, you know, we know their answers, you know, we know what they need. And sometimes we’re wrong. But people need, maybe they need a business plan. They they need a way always to lead towards self sustainability. So they’re not always chasing dollars. But it’s awfully hard to have a school with no pencils, and no deaths. Right. And so that might be their need, if that’s what their passion is to start a school in so many countries, there’s that near enough schools for all the kids that are there. So schools, medical clinics are mostly we’re involved in in water projects. So yeah, it’s a lot of people. It’s
Debra Chantry-Taylor 24:44
fun. Yeah, it sounds okay. I don’t all with a real purpose or passion for making a difference, right.
Kim Sorrelle 24:50
Exactly. Yes. Because we all should I mean that.
Debra Chantry-Taylor 24:53
Yeah. Completely agree. Okay, so in terms of bringing love into business, because this is what I’ve got In my office, upstairs, I’ve got this sort of great big side, I actually painted myself, I went on a painting weekend, I’d never painted in my life. And I painted a big pair of angel wings. And then you will ask to put a word on it. And the word that just came here was love. So it’s got this big love with the the angel wings there. And I proudly put it in my office because it’s my painting and I kind of quite leader, I was quite proud of it. But also it’s love is everything right, though without love, there is nothing. But in terms of bringing into business people kind of get out, you know, would kind of that sort of fluffy stuff in business? What does that really mean? So how would you describe love in business?
Kim Sorrelle 25:35
Well, you know, love brings authenticity. And if you think about yourself, and who you want to do business with, you want to do business with people who you really believe care about you, who you believe have your best interests in mind. And what that comes down to it’s people that love you. And because when you love somebody, you’re going to have their best interests in mind, you’re going to help them in whatever way they need help, you’re going to want to partner with people and, and care about them. And when you feel cared about it changes a lot of things. So when I come down to oh, gosh, should I should I buy from this company? Or should I buy from this company? Well, love is always gonna win. Love will always win. So and it’s the same with co workers. You know, there are times that everybody’s probably worked with somebody that just drove them Batty, right? I mean, I think everybody’s had that experience. But if you come from a whole different angle, and you come from an angle of love, and realize, you know, you’re not going home with that person, you don’t know what’s going on in their life. You don’t know their upbringing, their whole story of their upbringing, and what they’ve been through. And every day that we live leads us to where we are today and who we are today. Right? And so we don’t we don’t know what that other person’s been through. And there can be a whole lot of reasons that somebody’s driving you crazy. But if you stop and you start loving the person, and you make the effort, and you really think about it, and you you really do it, not just say it, but you really do it. We’re the relationship will change, the relationship will change. It’s interesting, because I did that with my husband. early in our marriage, he was driving me crazy. And I had little kids, and I felt like I was doing all the work. He’d go to work, he’d come home, and he’d lay on the couch, you know, and I’m doing all the laundry, I’m making dinner. I’m doing it all. And I thought, well, I could do all this without him. What do I need him for? He’s not doing anything. But I made the decision that I was going to do everything I could to make me happy. That’s what I was going to do. No matter what, no matter if he ever responded, never responded. I didn’t put a time limit on it. You know, I’m doing it for three months. If he doesn’t change, I’m out of here. I just decided I want a happy marriage. And so I want to have a husband. So I’m going to do everything I can. So I’d go to the grocery store and pick up his favorite candy or dessert, you know, and make his favorite meals and write a little note in the morning. You know, just anything I could do to make him happy. Anything I could do to make him happy. And he did change. He did change. But the reality is I changed. I changed because my heart changed. Yes. When I dove into love, and I put on a blanket of love and wore it and lived it. I changed that changed me. It changed my attitude toward my husband. So I think he changed but it’s almost like I think he changed sort of like, once a month, he got really cranky. And I knew it must be him getting cranky once a month, not me once a month is so it’s kind of like that. Yeah, like our marriage changed. And it was wonderful. It was great. So it’s interesting.
Debra Chantry-Taylor 29:03
There’s a there’s a book called The Surrendered Wife. And when I heard about this book, I just did not want to read it because it’s like, well, why should the wife have to surrender? That’s just ridiculous. But I got the book and I started reading it. And it was exactly this this principle. It’s actually not about surrendering, per se. It’s about just accepting, you know, coming from a place of love and doing everything in your power to make the person you love happy as well. And it does it changes everything about the way that you do things. Therefore, yeah, you’re actually knew that change. It’s not the point. There’s so yeah. So the same principle applies in business, who doesn’t? So you’re just saying if you’ve got a co worker who’s driving up the wall, it’s just about having that sort of empathy and just loving them for who they are doing whatever you can, I suppose do whatever you can control because anything you can control is yourself.
Kim Sorrelle 29:53
It’s so true. It’s so true. And there are things in life of course that you can’t control you know your father they’re getting cancer, if you could change that you would not be my husband getting cancer, I change it. But we have no control over that. But we do control ourselves. And we do control how we are to other people, and how we feel, how we feel, we control our level of happiness, our level of joy, we shouldn’t let other people control whether or not we’re having a good day, right? I mean, it should be on us. Because that’s what we have control over. Try not to let the things that maybe want to interfere with your happiness come in, like not ignore those things, who needs them. But you don’t, you have to be best friends with everybody. You know, that’s not what love is, you don’t have to invite everybody over for a potluck, or, you know, invite everybody to your picnic, you can’t feed the world. I mean, you can’t I mean, I don’t know who can. But you don’t have to be best friends with everybody. But if you love them, then you let them be who they are. Then you let them live the life that they feel like to live, you let them be who they are, even if that’s not who you are. And that’s not who you want to be. Love them and, and let them be who they are. Let them be their true, authentic self. And then admire it in a way and say, because they’re unique. You know, the people that drive us crazy. They drive us crazy, because they’re different from us. Yes. Well, it’s kind of nice for that all the same, it’d be kind of a boring world. Yeah. So figure out, there’s things to really enjoy about them. And when you love them, when you put that on, when you decide this is what you’re going to do and you’re going to live love, then your relationship with that person will change has to it has to,
Debra Chantry-Taylor 31:47
Okay, that’s fantastic. I look, we could talk about this subject all day long, no doubt, because it’s something I’m very passionate about as well. But in terms of, you know, we’d like to give the listeners a few tips and tools they can take away they can put into their lives straight away. What are your kind of three top tips or tools that you would share with the listeners,
Kim Sorrelle 32:04
I would say number one, be authentic, be real. Don’t don’t be phony to people, people know whether or not you really care about them, whether or not you’re really interested in their lives, you know, be authentic, it changes business, it changes the way you deal in life, you just let yourself not have this different face you put on at the office, right? But just be who you are, live, live who you are, and be be authentic to everybody all the time. And be forgiving. be forgiving my word. If people didn’t forgive me for the things I did, I don’t know where I’d be. I have no friends and my family would disown me. Yeah, so be forgiving, you know, let let it go and, and change the narrative, you know, change the narrative on the story. Don’t harbor it. Don’t, don’t be bitter, you know, it doesn’t do any good at all. So let it go, let it go. I think one of the best things people can do as a third thing, one of the best things people can do is think about somebody that you’re not in relationship with now that you used to be right, maybe you’re you’re not talking to your brother right now. Or maybe there’s somebody who used to work with and you used to be really close, you used to know them well. And then you haven’t talked to them and so long, and think of somebody like that, that that maybe their needs were healing in the relationship, or a rekindling of the relationship or at least acknowledging that the relationship was there. Yeah. And reach out. Reach out with phone call, a note, write a handwritten note goes a long way. But reach out and you know, be the one that that loves just just love them. And that’s my advice.
Debra Chantry-Taylor 33:57
That is fantastic. Thank you so so much. So in terms of I’d love to share the books or the books obviously is Cry Until You Laugh and Love Is the two books you’ve written where can people get ahold of those Kim?
Kim Sorrelle 34:09
Um, pretty much any online bookseller. In the US there in some brick and mortar stores as well urns and noble places like that. And but, any any online bookseller or even your local bookstore can order it in for you or whatever. So it’s readily available, they’re readily available. And we’re on my website, which is kimsorrelle.com, which is obnoxious. I’m literally the only spelled my way in the entire world because there’s way too many letters to Rs two E’s two L’s, so nobody remembers Kim, sir all that. But love is that info. Also takes you to my website. Love that info. Yeah.
Debra Chantry-Taylor 34:54
No, no, I’ll put those links in the bottom of the podcast thing as well. And if they wanted to get in contact with you personally, is that also the best way to get ahold of you?
Kim Sorrelle 35:04
Yes. And again, I’m the only Kim Sorrelle well spelled my way. So I’m very easy to find if you’re in Google, you know, Love is Kim, you know, whatever, I’ll pop up. And, um, I some easy to find them on the social networks and wherever, through my website, and I love to hear from people. I love to hear from people or people that are using my book at their office, and everybody has a copy. And once a month, they’re having a meeting and they’re talking about a word a month, and it’s changing dynamics. It’s changing the culture of the company. And so that’s I love hearing stories like that and families are doing the same. It’s just I love hearing those stories and knowing that it’s having an effect on people’s lives.
Debra Chantry-Taylor 35:50
I can say that you’re really passionate about it. I can feel the love even though we’re not in the same room together. I can feel them up it’s great. Hey, look, um, thank you so much for your time this morning, it’s afternoon for you, isn’t it? Evening, evening is it okay even evening Well, thank you very much for your time this evening morning over here in New Zealand. Absolutely. Yeah. So much fun to talk to you and really enjoyed the tips and things that you shared and the stories about the chickens will stay with me forever. So thank you for that. Well, I suppose as a parting note, yeah, I’m in love really is all that there is in this world. And I think that if we can just accept everybody for who they are, love them for who they are. The world’s gonna be a whole lot better place and you’ve reminded me of that. So thank you.
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